The Nocturnum
Episode 15: Into the East
Original Air Date: 4/4/04
Brief Synopsis
The Cast takes the Trans-Siberian railroad to Tibet. While on the train, they get a chance for some well-deserved R&R, and are able to actually let their guard down for a time, and expose a couple of very mundane con-artists who are playing with forces beyond their control. Near the end of their journey, they face a legendary foe and a legion of vampiric servants. A dawning realization arises that even if they save the world from this disaster, a great darkness rests on the horizon.
Great Quotes:
TSR Waiter: Can I take your order, please?
Cyan: Pickles.
John: Oh! and vodka!
(A friendly passenger says "hello")
Cyan: Shoot him. He's talking to us. He must be evil, or out to get us.
(A passenger is babbling in Russian)
Drake: Which means, 'I'll have the heads of unbaptized children...and vodka.
Walter: You know, if America had a socialist health care system, I wouldn't have had to do my own stitches in my apartment all those times.
John: Shut up, Walter.
Anita: The coffee here sucks! I could pee stronger coffee than this!
(An Obnoxious Female American Passenger shouts the exact same thing)
Anita: Oh, no. I'm sorry, she has to go. There's only room for one American bitch on this train, and you're looking at her.
(The Cast is by now generally very drunk)
Anita: Hey, John...remember, "let me suck some of that sweet essence?"
Cyan: Anita, maybe you need to just back off a little.
John: Well, you know, honey, you could let her suck some sweet essence off of you.
(Cyan gives John a cold, icy stare)
John: Yeah. Maybe I should just go finish my drink in our cabin.
Drake: You gave him your pickle?
John: I just find myself wondering which of the other passengers is going to wind up being the Smoking Mirror?
Anita (harsh whisper): John....shut....UP!
(An innocent-looking, blonde, blue-eyed German girl is looking for someone to teach her how to play poker)
Walter: Oh! I'll play cards with her!
John: Yeah. How could this accident have been avoided?
(A Mormon missionary comes over)
Walter: I need to talk to her.
John: I repeat: How could this accident have been avoided?
Anita: Hey, she's a woman of God, you sick freak!
Drake (after painting John's face with lipstick): BANZAI!
Drake (on waking up and discovering everyone drunk): Looks like I missed the drinking.
Anita: No, you didn't. Your'e just late for it.
[DVD Blooper Reel Out Take]
(Anita, plagued by Katherine's lingering emotions, is strongly coming on to Drake)
Walter's player: Hey, wait a second! Anita Blake would never have sex with a vampire!
(Cast and crew loses it)
Drake: Now, now, Anita...I'm too old for you.
-The Morning After-
Walter (seeing John in full makeup): You win, man.
John (while puking): I feel pretty! Oh, so pretty!
John: Ugh...I need a mimosa.
Anita: What's a mimosa?
John: OJ and champagne.
Anita: No more alcohol!
John and Jack: You need some of the hair of the dog that bit ya!
Jack: I'm at least half demon
Walter: Oh, yeah? What kind?
Jack: Biblos.
Walter: Oh, yeah? I killed one of them. Carnegie Library! Good times, good times.
Walter (to his new Spirit Patron): Fine, but until you give me a name, I'm going to call you "Felix."
John: Dammit, Walter. Why do you always get to be the bad cop?
Drake: Walter, you've only ever been right about one thing.
Walter: Yeah? What was that?
(Drake turns and walks away)
Great moments:
Cyan suggests the cast shoot anyone who tries to talk to them.The Cast meets a passenger from Quebec. Cyan starts singing "Blame Canada."
John introduces the passengers on the train to the wonders of vodka and pickle spears. By 4:00, everyone on the Trans-Siberian Railroad except the crew is three sheets to the wind.
A Blonde-haired, blue-eyed German girl asks Walter to teach her the American card game Poker. She then proceeds to hustle him for every last cent he has.
A very drunk Walter has a conversation with a Mormon woman. He fills her in on the true nature of demons and Old Ones, and reveals that he thinks his current spirit patron is an Angel. She begins drinking shortly thereafter.
John passes out. Drake puts lipstick on him. Later, Cyan finishes the job with rouge, eyeliner, mascara, and eye shadow.
Jack, Anita, and Walter suggest that Drake eat the only other two Americans on the train, as they are a shining example of why the rest of the world hates Americans.
Anita, very drunk and afflicted by lingering emotions from her shared-body experience with Katherine, tries to seduce Drake. Drake rebuffs her and she shows up in hysterics. Attempting to be chivalric, Walter punches Drake in the face. Drake quite calmly stands up and knocks Walter unconscious.
John, after seeing himself in the mirror (still in full makeup), begins to sing "I Feel Pretty," while vomiting.
Walter sees John in full makeup, shrugs, and concedes that John won.
Anita and Katherine plot to expose two phoney "spirit mediums" who are conning passengers out of personal goods. Jack and Cyan (separately) plot to expose two phoney "spirit mediums" who are conning passengers out of personal goods. During a seance, Cyan summons a fireball in the middle of the table. At the same time, Anita summons Katherine, who appears emaciated and rotten. At the same time, Jack leaps out from under the table in full demon face...then screams as he seas Katherine, and falls back, terrified. Katherine rebuffs the two phoney Necromancers, who both run back to their cabin. Later, John and Walter visit the two with a "good cop/bad cop" routine that results in the con artists returning all of the stolen goods. John notices that the trauma of the seance has awakened latent Gifted potential in the couple. Following that, Drake threatens both of their lives for dragging his girlfriend into the picture.
The Church of Eternal Life: Side Adventure
On arriving in Tibet, the group discovers a rash of disappearances from the capital city of Lhasa. They are invited to a meeting of the "Church of Eternal Life," whereby the "Chosen One," apparently a woman revered by this cult, will "show the true way." They Cast immediately assume vampires, and, itching for some less world-threatening dusting and a sense of familiarity to keep themselves grounded, they load up with stakes and go. Cyan sits sentinel outside.
Inside the temple, Drake, Anita, John, and Jack all instantly recognize the Chosen One as the legendary and deadly Drusilla. She recognizes Drake as well, and smells the soul on him. The doors slam, and the Cast is trapped with dozens of vampires. Drake goes after Drusilla, who (much to everyone's shock, turns into a bat, then into mist, and escapes through a ventilation shaft. Before she goes, Jack and Anita both recognize the Mark of Leviathan on her hand.
From outside, Cyan uses her fire invocation to dispose of the two vampire guards posted there. She then (with the aid of lots of Drama Points, manages to move the heavy beam locking the Cast inside. The Cast escapes and burns the building to the ground. They are left wondering what this encounter bodes for the future...